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Archive for June, 2009
Tuesday, June 30th, 2009
Romance, who loves to nod and sing,
With drowsy head and folded wing,
Among the green leaves as they shake
Far down within some shadowy lake
-Romance by Edgar Allan Poe
DEEPLY dipping decolletage, dinner by candlelight and ardour in his eyes… Romance?
Yes, of course.
Walking hand in hand by the seaside, silhouetted against the sunset as you murmur sweet nothings to each other… Romance?
Sure.
Giggling together over nothing; shared chocolates, songs heard and sung together; fingers touched and snatched away; champagne and roses…Romance?
Mmmmm, YES!
Time spent together, full of love and mischief, but parting to go your separate ways, love locked deep in your hearts; a baby’s quivering dimpled bottom, pitter patter of rain, streaks of sunset colour in the sky… Romance?
Ma…ybe.
A glimpse of knickers under Anna Kournikova’s tennis skirt; loving more than one person at a time, having no-strings-attached sex with a friend once in a while… Romance?
Ouch! Spicy- But hey, WHY NOT?
Why must romance necessarily be something to do with love, togetherness and spending time with your lover? Like most things in life, why must romance be bound by definitions and limits? To the extent that when a website asked a number of romance writers to post their definitions of romance, each one defined it as the love story of a man and woman, their strength of character, trials and tribulations, and how they overcome these. Each author specified that a romance could only possibly have a happily ever after (HEA) ending!
But how realistic is that? The definition of romance changes with time. From medieval to Gothic to 18th century romantic poetry to early 20th century War romances, onto the Harlequin series and realistic romances – what a world of difference!
One way to measure this is to flick through a few romance novels. Pick up the all-time favourite Mills & Boons, for instance. A few years ago, virginity was a pre-requisite and the main characters verbally sparred their way through the story till the end when they discovered their all-encompassing love and were allowed the first kiss… Swoon, swoon… how sweetly romantic!
Today, they start off as ‘f*** buddies’, move in together and the idea of marriage and HEA comes almost as a surprise! Virginity is not even considered, though fidelity is still a requisite.
Medieval romances were all about quests and adventure. Modern romance too is about quest – but an internal quest, a quest to discover yourself. Romance today is as much about your journey inwards – a relationship with self – as it is a loving relationship with another.
Romance is no longer about waiting for the right time or opportunity; it’s about the here and now. It’s for you to find romance in every moment, every thought and every word. For, romance emanates from within you. If you keep waiting for the right time and place, it will just pass you by.
What are the feelings a romantic situation arouses? Romance is when you feel good about yourself and everyone around; when your good hormones are flowing and you love the whole world. If knickers peeking out from beneath a skirt seem kinda cute to you, then that’s your kind of romance! If you get addicted to exercise and look forward to your early morning walks, even that could be your experience of romance. Glaze gazing far out into the horizon with a blank mind could be as romantic as a bubble bath with your lover. Anything and everything that helps you connect with joy of living is romantic.
If you are willing to stretch your definition of it, romance is always in the air around you; you just have to sniff it out. It’s there in the leaf that just dropped to the ground; the trees laden with droopy, bright yellow amaltas; in the colours of dawn and dusk. It’s actually nowhere without; it’s within you.
Tags: Definition Of Romance, Modern Romance
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Monday, June 29th, 2009
Online dating is one of the the safest and most convenient ways to meet single men or women. But because of the stigma that online chat rooms sometimes suffer from, singles, especially single women, can still feel apprehensive about joining an online dating site.
The following are some basic, common sense safety tips to keep in mind when dating online. Follow these tips, and you should be perfectly fine and be able to enjoy all the benefits online dating has to offer.
Take the following safety precautions, and you’ll make absolutely sure that you are not doing anything that could be dangerous.
Do not, under any circumstance reveal any personally identifiable information in your online dating profile, in your personal ads, or in your private e-mails to singles.
Such information includes your real name, specifics about where you live (“I live in London” is ok, though) or any other info that could be used maliciously or simply without your consent.
Use only the communications tools provided by your dating service. They now offer private e-mail, chat, and even instant messaging. You should not invite singles to e-mail you at your regular address, at least until you get to know them better. Use your judgement here.
When you e-mail singles in private, you may want to consider using an anonymous e-mail account at a free site such as Hotmail or Yahoo when you begin getting to know new people. Take your time to establish communication and move at your own pace.
Be careful with your signatures. Many of us use multiple signature lines for our personal and business e-mail correspondence that include our phone numbers and addresses. Obviously you’ll want to leave this information out when first contacting any singles you meet through the personals.
Your best option might be opening an entirely new free e-mail account, to use just for your communications with singles you meet online.
Remember, you’re in control. No one should ever pressure you into revealing anything about yourself that you want to keep private. Anyone who does is not respecting your boundaries, and is probably not worth contacting further.
Tags: Dating Tips, Personals, Relationships, Singles
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Sunday, June 28th, 2009
February is the month of love. It even includes an entire day that is set aside simply for the purpose of making grand gestures of romance and love. Valentine’s Day has been around for centuries.
One story of the origin of Valentine’s Day dates back to the 3rd century AD. Father Valentine, a Roman priest, defied what he believed was an unjust law of his day that forbade marriage and secretly married young lovers. For this he was sentenced to death, was martyred two centuries later and became one of the most popular saints of France and Italy.
LOVE
This thing called love receives more and more notice in most every area of life. Spiritual traditions have long claimed love to be at the core of healing and happiness. Philosophers have written of three types of love called eros, agape and philia. Medical research has produced scientific findings that love improves our health – it changes us on a cellular level, enhances our immune and cardiovascular systems, and increases our endorphins. A recent Oprah show highlighted a group of middle aged women who attributed their vitality and success to doing what they love. And the Law of Attraction that is rapidly gaining attention identifies love as a high energy emotion that transforms not only the “lover” but those near and far. As well it has the greatest attraction power of any energy.
ROMANCE
Since this is February I want to talk about the love celebrated in February, love that is distinguished by the “Big R word” – Romance. As I write this I am reminded that I don’t hear or read very much anymore about romance, except for a week or two around Valentine’s Day. I think something is amiss. Who doesn’t, if you are truly honest with yourself, desire more romance in your life?
Think of it. Romance is romance because of an array of delicious qualities such as genuine curiosity, adoring attention, expression of deep affection and passionate emotional involvement. Pretty good so far, don’t you think? There’s more. Romance is filled with charm and excitement. There is play, intense pleasure, profound interest and adoration. In romance one’s best self naturally shines forth, as well as the ability to see the magnificence in another. As I expect you know, there is a great deal of energy in romance – energy of vitality, passion and aliveness. Now I ask you again, “Who wouldn’t want more of that?” If you’re counting, count me in.
HOW TO HAVE MORE
The next question becomes “how?” Before answering this question, I want to remind you that any “great” relationship requires several things, one of which is romance. Now let’s get back to the question at hand, “What does it take to have more romance in my relationships?” First, let’s go back to the wisdom of Saint Valentine. He followed his heart not the dictates of something he didn’t believe in. So follow the desires of your heart, rather than the commands of “shoulds.” Second, choose to “become the Cupid in your own life.” Cupid, the Roman winged god of love, who shot his arrows of desire into unsuspecting persons has long been a symbol for Valentine’s Day. As Cupid, you get to shoot your arrows wherever you want. What relationship in your life would you like infused with more romance?
There is the obvious area of intimate relationships, whether with a long term partner or spouse, someone you are dating, or maybe even someone you are interested in but haven’t yet let them know. Is there still romance in your marriage or long term relationship? If yes, be grateful for it every day and keep doing what you’re doing that keeps romance alive. If not, let this month of love be the month to reclaim and re-ignite the playful, passionate aliveness of romance with some gesture that lets your partner know that you “see” and adore them. You can even do this with someone you are dating or begin with someone you are interested in. And there is always the long-stemmed red rose, ever the symbol of love and romance. Whatever you do, do it authentically – put your playful, thoughtful, passionate heart in it!
What about your business or career? Might it be time to start romancing your work or your business? Spend some time here with your full attention, appreciation and curiosity. What is one passionate action that would create a spark in this area of your life? Do that by Valentine’s Day. What is the particular charm or uniqueness of your work or business, even if dormant right now? Highlight that in your planning and next steps.
There are many relationships in your life that could be transformed by a little romance besides those I already mentioned – even those with money and time for starters. They all have one common denominator – You. Maybe now is the time to start some “serious” romancing of yourself? How much adoring attention, genuine curiosity and profound interest do you have for you? When was the last time you took time to “see” who you really are and what’s most important to you, or consciously gifted yourself with pleasure? Please take out your calendar and highlight an evening or an afternoon during the week of Valentine’s Day that you will treat yourself to a romantic date with “you” to do, be or have whatever strikes your romantic fantasy. And then, make it a habit.
THE THREE M’S OF ROMANCE
Romance requires that you take time, slow down and pay attention. And if romance strikes your fancy, remember that what you give your attention to grows stronger in your life.
I want to leave you with the three “M’s” of Romance – magic, mystery & miracles. These have to be present for real romance to occur. While science continually strives to “know” and find answers to or reasons for everything in life, I invite you to also allow for magic, mystery & miracles which provide much of the spice in life and the romance in love. Make sure to invite these into the Dance of Romance!
Enjoy this month, and beyond, of romance. And remember, You are a natural! You are brilliant! You are magnificent! Simply by being you. Let your light shine!
If you’d like to speak with me about connecting with your passion and creating a life and business you love, call today for a 30 – minute complimentary consultation @ 617-524-6153.
Reggie Odom LICSW, CPCC, PCC is the founder of Inspired Works a Life Coach, inspirational speaker, and lecturer at Simmons College School of Social Work. She is considered a master teacher and unforgettable speaker. Reggie coaches professionals and practice-based entrepreneurs who want more joy and greater aliveness. http://www.reggieodom.com
Tags: Attraction, Authentic, Motivation, Relationships, Romance, Self-help
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Saturday, June 27th, 2009
Online dating & chat may be considered the best friends finder today for all kinds of relationships and sex. It is advisable that we make at least one friend every five years because as we grow or as we move on with life we loose some of our good buddies along the way something that may seem to be like natural wastage. Sometimes we fall in and out of love, we change and adapt and we finally end up with a group of our best personals. It is therefore important for us to keep exploring and searching for new experiences to make this life better.
Meet New Friends:
A good relationship results from good friendship in its simplest form where we meet on a one-to-one basis to chat, discuss and basically find out if we get along well enough to a level of even becoming husband and wife. It’s not about if we are attracted to their face, legs, or hair, or just for sex, It’s about what we have in common and how well we get along for example do we have the same belief system, same passions, humor, outlooks, laughs and all the other small details. If we do, then this may now be considered to be an excellent relationship.
Free Online Dating:
Trust and friendship are crucial factors to any successful relationship. You have to trust someone before you love him or her and to love them you have to take the risk of opening up your heart as early as possible meaning you have the willingness to trust and make that person your friend, wife or husband. There are no quick paths to eternal happiness, successful dating is strictly about starting a good healthy relationship and loving the people involved unconditionally with no malicious intentions like interest in money and sex. Start dating now and build a relationship. Make friends, chat and fall in love.
Tags: Dating & Chat, Exellent Dating Relationship, Free Online Dating Chat, Free Online Dating Site, Free Online Dating Tips, Friends Chat, Meet New Friends, Online, Online Dating Relationships, Relationships And Sex, The Best Free Online Dating & Chat Site
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Friday, June 26th, 2009
As life gets more and more busy and as the responsibilities pile up on your plate, such as your career and family, it can be hard to pay attention to the smaller things that make life pleasant. One of the things that you may notice slipping is romance. How can you recapture romance and bring it back into your life and relationship? Understanding the simple philosophy of Feng Shui can improve your romantic life quickly and easily. By creating an every day life full of balance and harmony, you will find romance returning and improvement in your most important relationship, that with your lover or potential mate. With Feng Shui and romance, you must remember that you and what is important to yourself comes before anything else.
If your goal is to improve Feng Shui and romance, it is essential to understand what the love center or romance area of your home is. This romance center is to the far right corner of your house from the entrance, or it is the far right corner of every room that you enter. Focusing on this area of your home or in each room will increase your Feng Shui and romance. A way to improve the romance area is to create a feeling of comfort and relaxation. Do this with smart decorating and design choices, such as using pleasant colors and freeing the area of clutter. You want to have an inviting space that encourages intimacy. When you have a warm and welcoming space, you will find romance flowing more freely through your house and within your life.
An important concept to keep in mind when it comes to Feng Shui and romance is to rid your current life of any past romances. This is simple to do – remove any associations with these past relationships, including mementos and pictures. Once you have done this, you will find it easier to bring a new romance into your life. You may even consider replacing your bed and other bedroom furniture if it has connections with your old love. This change may be more drastic, but it will create an atmosphere that will welcome a new and successful romance.
Other items to remove from your bedroom, and important place in the home for Feng Shui and romance, are objects that are related to other activities that have nothing to do with love. These items include your television, exercise equipment, and personal computer. These everyday objects can be more appropriately placed in other areas of the house where they won’t affect the peaceful energies you are trying to create in the bedroom. If these items must remain in the bedroom, try to shield them from view by using a screen or curtain.
Feng Shui and romance in the bedroom can be enhanced by furniture arrangement. When it comes to bed placement, you want to make sure that it is situated as far from the entrance door as possible, although you still want the bed to be within sight from the doorway. A solid headboard is another physical feature that encourages Feng Shui and romance by representing the solidity of the relationship you are pursuing.
Another simple physical aspect to tackle when improving the Feng Shui and romance in your bedroom is to remove any unnecessary clutter. This also applies to any other area of the house, but when it comes to romance it is most essential to clear the bedroom of unsightly and nonfunctional clutter. This includes objects lying on the floor, or excessive decorations on top of your dresser. Clutter certainly does not encourage intimacy and will detract from the atmosphere of romance that you are trying to build with Feng Shui.
Another simple trick is to create the feeling within the bedroom that you are not single, even if you aren’t currently in a relationship. Do this by placing a second pillow on your bed and making extra room in your bathroom and closet. This is a good way to use Feng Shui and romance to encourage a potential new love. Also, be sure that the artwork within your bedroom is a reflection of romance by avoiding landscapes that appear lonely or photographs of a single person. Good artwork to include on the walls or on your dresser are pictures of things in pairs, such as two flowers or two animals. These simple measures will encourage romance and love to blossom within your bedroom and life.
A great Feng Shui and romance tip is to bring in living elements from the outdoors. Fresh flowers or an attractive plant are objects that can be incorporated into your home for encouraging a pleasant atmosphere and romance. Of course, do not keep around wilting or dried up flowers, as these will harm your levels of Feng Shui and romance within the home.
To encourage romance within your life, concentrate on the love that is already present, including your family and friends. Embracing this love will create a welcoming attitude for romantic love. Feng Shui and romance will flourish throughout your home and life if you keep a positive spirit that is open to the possibility of a new love.
Tags: Affection, Balance, Feng Shui, Harmony, Intimacy, Joy, Love, Relationships, Romance
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