Cheating and jealousy are two of the biggest factors that will determine whether a relationship will go the distance. Associating with the opposite sex and meeting new people is part of everyday life for many of us. Cheating can often start out with innocent flirting which can easily progress to crossing the line if you do not put some personal barriers in place. If you love your partner and are committed to making things work, putting up barriers is something that you should do out of respect of your partner.

So what level of interaction with other people should be regarded as cheating? Does cheating always have to involve sex? It would be safe to say that sex with someone else outside of a relationship is the ultimate form of cheating and there can be no mis conceptions as to what has taken place and would certainly indicate troubling times to follow. Once sex becomes involved with others, gaining back the relationship that was once treasured will difficult to say the least.

Some couples turn to a third person to reinvigorate their sex lives. Sounds like an exciting idea at the the time however many sexual behaviour experts agree that a decision within a relationship consenting to sex with third parties usually ends up in disaster. Common issues that occur with this scenario is when the man or woman in the relationship becomes jealous or feels sexually inferior during the act, or a bond and chemistry can develop between the third party and the guy or girl.

Opinions vary when it comes to acceptable levels of interaction with other people. A kiss on the check is a normal and in many cases acceptable. Kissing someone else on the lips is in many cases considered questionable. A kiss on the lips is a sure way to initiate some sexual tension. Lip kissing that lasts more than one second eliminates any doubt as to the nature of the kiss. Hugging between friends is very common and their is often nothing sexual about sharing a hug. It is difficult to determine whether there is any sexual chemistry between two huggers, however hugging is a common emotional act between friends and family. Friends of the opposite sex can sometimes become close use hugging and touching to express themselves which can often cause some uneasy feelings from their respective other halves.

What about online dating sites ? Millions of people use online dating sites and singles chat rooms to make friends. Whether you are single or attached, the internet plays a role with many of us. What happens when an old girlfriend or boyfriend contacts you through Face Book. This is one of the easiest ways to relax your guard and start an online relationship which can just as easily progress into something more than just friends. According to and Australian online dating survey, 82% of respondents did not consider an online relationship to be cheating. The only problem with this scenario, and the question remains, how many of these so called innocent online relationships developed into something more.

Chat rooms are another debatable topic when it comes to crossing the line. Typically singles use chat rooms although its not uncommon for attached people to be using online dating sites and singles chat rooms. Although seemingly innocent at first, attached people sometimes go online in a moment of vulnerability when they are feeling lonely or neglected by their partner.

If you are unsure as to what you consider acceptable behavior when it comes to cheating, a good rule to follow is to do the same as you would expect. If there is adequate give and take, with genuine communication, there is no rationality for either part of the couple to go looking somewhere else for fulfillment.

A scenario such as this came into my life, not directly, however I played a role in helping my friend who lost his wife to his best friend at the time, as a result of manipulation and blind trust. This is not a made up story for the purposes of producing an article, I simply felt compelled to share this story so others can take measures not to fall into the same trap.

Steve and Michelle met when they were both 17 years old and went on to marry forging a 14 year relationship. Steve was Michelle’s first real boyfriend and also her first sexual partner. She had never been involved in dating other singles until Steve come along. Steve and Michelle were like 2 peas in a pod and became as one making their relationship the envy of all their mutual friends, of which there were many including myself. After leaving school, Steve, Michelle and our various friends would regularly socialize whether it be clubbing, bars or visiting friends. There was never any sign of mis-trust or infidelity between Steve and Michelle and their bond seem to get tighter as the years went on. Throughout the years their friends were dating other singles and were experimenting in the singles scene as most young people do. Steve and Michelle were content, they has found their respective soul mates.

Tony, a mutual friend of ours and right from the start, was best friends with Steve and also fairly close to Michelle. Tony held some sort of influence over the pair which grew as time progressed. Tony was rarely known to be dating other singles, instead the 3 of them would go everywhere together and virtually lived in each others pockets. No-one really ever seriously suspected that anything romantic would ever eventuate between Tony and Michelle and the 3 way bond was just excepted by their friends as the norm. No-one could ever conceive (including myself) that such a betrayal would ever be possible considering how close Steve and Tony were.

Towards the end of Steve and Michelle’s marriage, Tony and Michelle became very close friends which involved shopping together and other girly type activities like taking in a movie (without Steve) however Steve didn’t mind he was happy for his wife and best friend to have found friendships that made them happy. So close was Tony entrenched in their lives, he seized on this opportunity and gave Michelle all the things that he knew were lacking in her life and proceeded to fill the gaps. It was at this stage (later determined) an affair was imminent. Even at that point though, the thought of betrayal was never under consideration, hence the manipulating influence Tony had over the pair. I for one can verify that Steve is no fool, is highly intelligent and is very successful in other areas of his life. However he was no match for the deceit and under handed blow his best mate was about to land on him.

For the next few months Steve and Michelle’s relationship began to crumble as Tony now had Michelle in his web but it was all the while still a very big secret. The day Steve and Michelle split, Michelle broke off their marriage and put her decision down to the fact that they were no longer getting along and made no mention of the fact the she and Tony had calculated the outcome for many months.

It was at this point that Steve, Michelle and Tony’s friends started putting the pieces together however Steve was still blind to the real reason Michelle ended things. After the split, Tony continued to be friends with Steve and would flatly deny any rumors of his involvement with Michelle, which Steve, as always, blindly took his word placing unrelenting trust in his best friend. Over the next month or so Tony proceeded to twist the knife by concocting untrue stories about Steve to further re-assure Michelle that she had done the right thing by leaving her husband for him. No-one is really sure just how long Tony had his sights set on Michelle, although alarm bells should have been raised due to the fact that Tony refrained from dating other people and didn’t seem to actively pursue opportunities for dating other singles.

As there were so many mutual friends, the truth was bound to come out. So I set upon gathering the evidence to set Steve straight once and for all, and set him straight I did. There were also many lost mutual friendships as a result of Tony’s betrayal and show’s that some people will stop at nothing to satisfy their own desires and fantasies.