Advice is hard enough to ask for, especially if one’s pride is involved or if one’s feelings are hurt by the advice or advisor. Dating advice is no different but it is easier to take if one seeks it out instead of it being forced upon them by well meaning family members or friends, especially when it is not their business anyway. No one wants a mother like “Marie” on Everybody Loves Raymond gathering their ex lovers and trying to fix all their faults by discussing their problems with the ex lovers, then giving them advice, like she did to “Robert” in the television show. Perhaps that is why reading articles, books, and magazines on the subject is a more popular choice than discussions with the likes of “Marie”.
Some well given advice will follow, so if advice is not what the reader is looking for, feel free to move on. The best piece of advice is to trust your instincts. If something does not feel right, either about the other person or the place, get out as soon as possible. Instincts rarely are wrong, considering they are what have saved countless lives when paid attention to, so trust them.
The dater should be very committed to the idea of dating. Going on a ‘pity’ or ‘mercy’ date is not committing one’s self to the idea of finding a potential match. Always try to make the outside appearance reflect the beauty of the inside. Wear a new outfit, get a make over, or try a new hairstyle. It will be a big confidence booster and will also double as a conversation piece, if a compliment is made.
Be prepared with a plan for the date and a time frame for roommates, parents, or friends to check and make certain the dater is home safely. If there are deviations from the plan, be certain to alert the people at home who await the dater, incase something happens along the way. Having a well thought out plan for the date shows the people involved that the date planner cares enough to have made reservations and thought ahead.
Have a positive attitude and a positive support group. This will aid in keeping a date positive, even when it seems dismal. It will also help the dater look past a small annoyance and see the wonderful person behind the nerves. Do not expect to find Mr. or Ms. Right on the first match or date. Keeping one’s head and heart clear of fairytales will allow the dater to get to know each match well and decide if they are the potential match for them.
In order to date, one needs to take that first risk and put themselves out in the dating game. The right person will not just come knocking on the front door of one’s home with a wedding ring and a proposal, so get out there and try. The more one tries the more chances one has to finding a lasting relationship. When needed, take breaks from the dating scene. If it becomes a bother or a chore, stop for a while. Go out with friends or spend a quiet night at home with a good book or movie and candy. Dating should be fun, not a second job.
