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Archive for the ‘Online Dating’ Category
Monday, December 5th, 2011
Dating is expensive! I’m not just talking about the cost of dinner, drinks, and/or a movie; I’m talking about the expense of your emotions and time in the dating process. In dating, the quantity over quality principle can leave you too emotionally drained to find the right person to spend your valuable time and energy with. You should always keep in perspective the time you’re giving to the dating process, remembering that your time is valuable, and every minute with the wrong person, is a minute taken away from being with the right person. Therefore you should always want to make productive time out of your dating experiences. So how do you get around the dating process without pickup up the scars that come from dating too man Mr. and Ms. Wrong? Make your first date a mini-date.
What is a mini-date?
A mini-date is exactly what it sounds like, a mini-date. It’s an abbreviated version of what a full date would be like except you won’t have the expense associated with having a full date. It’s a date without the emotional, financial, and time constraints that are normally associated with a full date. A mini-date should be used like a pre-qualification for a full date.
How long should a mini-date last?
A good time for a mini-date is 30 min to 1 hour. If after 30 minutes you’ve had enough, then you know you saved yourself from the time of enduring another ‘date from hell.’ If after one hour you’re both still intrigued about one another, that’s a good indication that a full date might be in order.
What should I talk about on a mini-date?
Specifics should be saved for a full date and/or a relationship. However you should want to touch upon subject matters that are important to you. You should be willing to openly ask for, and tell your ‘deal breakers.’ You should touch on all those subjects that people tell you not to talk about. Sex, Religion, and Politics, thou not necessarily in that order, and there’s no reason to be sexually graphic. There’s no sense spending an entire evening with someone you know you will have philosophical differences with. Opposites may attract, but they don’t last. In the end, it’s better to date someone that you share similar interest with. If you’re Catholic and the person that you’re on a mini date with is Jewish, and you both know that neither will convert, a full date is not necessary. If your views are more liberal and your dates are more conservative, there’s a good chance that you will have more things to disagree on than agree on. Know already what you’re willing and not willing to accept, and what things can be compromised.
What’s the best day and time for a mini-date?
Unlike a regular date, for a mini-date you want to choose a day and time where time WILL be an issue. In other words, you should try to schedule min-dates for those times when you have something to do before and/or after the date. A lunch or breakfast is a good mini-date.
Where’s a good place to go for a mini-date?
The purpose of a mini-date isn’t romance, but rather to gather enough information to see if a relationship with the person can lead to romance. You should choose places that are public and unromantic. You want to choose a place where the focus can be on the conversation and getting to know one another and not on the ambience, food, or waiter, or any other things that could be a distraction to getting to know the real person. For a min-date try going to a coffee shop, a bookstore, the gym, or a simple sandwich shop restaurant.
What places should I avoid for a mini-date?
Since you’re trying to extract enough information from your date to qualify them for a full date, it’s best to stay away from intimate restaurants, sporting events, bars, and night clubs. Basically stay away from loud places and any place where it would be difficult to carry a meaningful conversation.
Mini-dates can be a very effective tool to pre-qualify your dates before you make the investment of your time in going on a real date. The greatest investment in dating is your time; and time is your most valuable asset. If you choose and invest wisely, you will reap the dividends in the end.
Obi aka The Relationship Guy, provides insightful, common sense, witty, and some times sarcastic articles on love, dating, and relationships. [http://www.theblueprintoflove.com]
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Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011
An online internet dating site is (in my opinion) the easiest way to find a partner in today’s world. With the ever-increasing technology aids, not only can you correspond with someone, but also see them in real-time. It used to be that an internet dating site was a taboo and people just didn’t trust it or the quality of people they might meet. But even so, you run the same risks as if you were to actually meet the person face-to-face. What is the difference? Well, you can’t smell a person through an internet dating site!
This article was written to give free dating tips and dating advice to those who are unfamiliar to internet dating. Or maybe you’ve had a couple bad experiences and are wondering why you are running into “duds”. My dating advice is not aimed particularly at either men or women, but looks at both sides. I am not a psychologist or therapists and all dating advice and tips are my personal thoughts found through my internet dating experiences.
So why choose online dating services rather than conventional dating? I’ll list a few benefits:
Millions of people from around the world sign up for internet dating services everyday. So not only can you find a person to match your needs but also a dating service built around your specific need. You’re in the US, you can meet someone from Australia. Find someone in a different state that you would enjoy visiting. There are Asian dating, Jewish dating, Christian dating, adult dating, senior dating, hiking dating, dog walking dating sites and the list goes on.
Your search criteria can be more detailed, less compromising later.
What hobbies are they into?
What are their turn-offs?
What are their interests?
People tend to be more honest through correspondence. You know the true person quicker.
You can still have an online date even if you’re sick.
It’s safe because you’re not in the same physical environment, at least initially.
You don’t need to meet the person until you are totally comfortable. Never meet anybody unless you are 99% comfortable.
The first date or 2nd, 3rd, and 4th should be out in public.
Let someone know where you are going.
Ladies, I highly recommend you bring a friend or double-date!
Do not allow the person to pick you up. Provide your own transportation
Bring defense items – pepper spray, whistle, gps tracking device. Be careful of bringing weapons that can harm you – knife, gun, clubs…etc
Ladies, even if the date is going well and it’s the 1st date, DO NOT be persuaded to get into a car alone with him. If he is a predator, he’ll get agitated and possibly upset. If this happens, then CONGRATULATIONS you may just SAVED YOUR LIFE and walk away now! A real gentleman will understand your fear and rather spend time with you than miss a party, concert or whatever. Just be sure to let him know prior to the date that you will not leave the initial meeting place with him unless your friend can come along.
Those are just a few reasons and each person will benefit differently based on their character and personality. The precautions would also relate to conventional dating practices and not just internet dates. So what are some of the drawbacks of internet dating:
Do they smell?
Are they really writing or just cut-and-pasting?
Cameras and lighting can be manipulated to hide certain features (flaws).
The photos in the ads maybe professionally done or retouched and not be a true reflection of the person
As with the benefits, there are other downsides to internet dating that aren’t listed and will vary from person to person.
So who is the best internet dating service? That’s a hard question to answer because there are so many variables and there is no one best service. I say the best dating site is the one you find what you are looking for on. Luckily, most like FitMatch are free to join, although you will get limited functionality and features of the program. But at least you can get an idea of the types or kinds of people who have joined that particular internet dating service. There are more and more online dating services that are specific to certain groups like – people who are in the service, Christian dating, pet lovers dating, and so on. The major dating sites will have these people as well, you’ll just need to sift through the members to find out if someone shares your passions or hobbies. What it boils down to is that the more people to select from, the better your chances of finding a match.
So, does internet dating really work Yes! It did for me. I live in the US and met my wife who lived in China. We corresponded for 6 months, sent pictures to each other, and finally met when her company came to the US on a business trip. We hit it off and for the next year, she came down to visit and a couple months later I went to China to visit her and meet her parents and family. Keep in mind that it could be expensive to go this route because of airfare and those sort of things. Lastly she had another business trip scheduled and we got married during that trip.
Marrying someone from another country is not as easy at it seems. There’s visa and passport issues, US Immigration forms and regulations, and much more. Most big internet dating sites will have a section to help with immigration issues. Things went fairly smoothly for us and we now have a beautiful 7 month old son.
Internet dating doesn’t have to be about marriage and it will definitely differ for everyone. Maybe you just want someone to hang out with on the weekends and go to dog shows or a social outing or you want to go white water rafting but your friends aren’t interested. Many people just want to make friends and not really label it as dating, but rather companionship and someone to talk to.
Some free dating tips and dating advice I can offer based on my experience that helped me find the love of my life and also general tips are listed below.
Be honest when you communicate
Speak from the heart, don’t try to be someone you’re not
Sign-up for more than one online dating site
Choose a general “big name” site such as FitMatch.
Search Google or Yahoo by typing “dating dogs” or “dating armed forces” or “dating Christian”…etc
Only pay for the sites that you feel there are more than 5 profiles that match what you are looking for, remember most are free to sign up, but you will have limited capability.
Stay away from free online dating sites, you get what you pay for. The more serious a person is, the higher amount of money they will pay to find quality people. That means if someone on a particular dating site has the highest level membership (Gold Member) then they are serious about finding someone. 2nd to the highest level (silver) may be those who are serious but don’t have a lot of money to spend. Anything less are in my opinion “gamers” and just passing time. HOWEVER! In countries or areas that are poor and under developed, they simply can’t afford to pay the membership fee. They are probably using a computer at school, a library, or a friends, so you’ll need to be extra patient.
Stay away from ads that don’t have pictures or at least make sure they will send you a picture. Some people don’t want to be seen in fear of their friends colleagues or family seeing them on the internet. That’s perfectly understandable, just make sure you get REAL pictures once getting to know the person.
Send and receive many pictures, insist on casual setting pictures and not professional retouched photos
Be patient, if they live in another time zone it can be difficult to call
If they live in another country, get a calling card or use a webcam and microphone.
Since my wife didn’t have a webcam, my phone bill averaged $1200 a month and I didn’t know about calling cards.
Call your phone company and get a plan with better international rates.
There’s more options today like VOIP (voice over IP) pc2phone that’s a lot cheaper and the sound quality is much better now also.
Ladies, when you do meet, make sure it’s with one or more of your friends even for the first few dates. Safety first and if the guy can’t understand that, then that’s a RED flag!
Ladies, purchase some books on pick-up lines, how to seduce a woman, and those sort of things. If your correspondence contains many of what you find in a book, then the person may not be sincere. If you’re tired of finding losers, this is your wake-up call to find out why.
Men, buy books on how to treat a lady. Buy books on how to seduce a woman, but only use it after you know they want to be seduced by you (later in the relationship).
Be Honest! – If you’re serious and want a life-long mate
Be upfront, put EVERYTHING on the table. Too many unexpected surprises will kill the relationship.
Don’t try to be what you think the other person wants. You can’t put on a show forever.
Get a webcam so you can see and hear the real person. Sometimes you get a glimpse of their room. Is it messy Are there naked people hung up on the wall It can also be a lot of fun once you are closer and can be more intimate. BE CAREFUL! What you do on camera can be recorded and exposed if things don’t work out.
Make a list of things you absolutely do not like or won’t compromise on. For example, you dislike it when your partner drinks too much, does drugs or things like that. Don’t ask these questions straight out, but have them elaborate when they had a night out with the guys/girls. Just keep a mental note to yourself.
Make a list of the key things you like that make you feel adored and desired.
You like feeling pampered by getting breakfast in bed
You like it when doors are opened for you
You like it when girls pamper you
You like it when girls make you feel special
How does the other person perceive what making someone feel special is.
What is your definition of joy and happiness
Be Honest! I know I keep saying that, but it’s the most important thing!
If you’ve been burned once too many times, do a background check on the person. You can find out if they have been married, divorced, in jail, law suits against them, and things of that nature. It costs a little money, but can save you years of heartache and disappointment. Some people may feel this is an invasion of privacy or a sign of not trusting the other person. I say it’s a matter of feeling secure and if the other person can’t understand that, then they are hiding something or don’t care about how insecure you may be feeling. Another RED flag! Online dating has evolved to where it’s common place to check on people.
Have fun on your date but pay attention to
Do they open doors for you
Do they talk negatively about too many things.
Are their eyes busy wandering rather than focusing on you
Are there too many lines or quotes from the dating books
You may want to keep a score card or write down notes immediately after the date. Just make sure you destroy them all when you are exclusively seeing that person. Nobody wants to know they are being compared, but it’s a good way to make sure the person has all the qualities that are truly important to you. To be on the safe side, never ever write down anything relating to sex. Technique can be learned if the person is willing to satisfy you. Talk about it, if they aren’t interested in what turns you on, that’s another RED flag. Lets face it, sex is an important part of a relationship. For some it isn’t but for the majority, it is. It’s also a two-way street. In order to get, you must give and if you give, you should get. It’s that simple.
Is this person someone you want your family and friends to meet
And for the last time – BE HONEST!
I hope this article has helped and you feel more secure about online dating. I endorse it 100% and am not afraid to admit that I met my wife on through an internet dating site. It makes me feel good that out of the 200 or so other people that responded to her ad… she picked me  I firmly believe that internet dating is the most efficient way to start a relationship and meet people.
Russ http://www.helpmehowto.com/internetdating.html
Posted in Dating Tips, Online Dating | Comments Off
Saturday, November 12th, 2011
In these past few years the trend in dating from all over the world has changed drastically. Individuals looking to meet people don’t choose to line up in queues anymore, to try to get into the hottest places. Seldom will they be seen hanging out in pubs and bars, trying to catch a glimpse of prospective hook-ups.
Nowadays, there’s a more modern, and organized approach to this mating ritual. Welcome to the world of online dating. There are a lot of advantages that go with this method.
Now singles can meet and greet each other without leaving the refuge of their homes. Sounds crazy, but now this is the most preferred way individuals, especially young people socialize.
One of the greatest things about online dating is that participants get to specify the exact type of person they are looking for. This can be done by joining a dating online service, or posting a personal.
An online dating service is basically a community of people who gather together to interact, socialize, and make friends with each other. There are a lot of online dating services on the internet.
Some online dating services require participants to subscribe to their websites. The great thing about online dating services that are run by subscription, is that their members are assessed before joining.
Aspiring members are asked to file an application, and are required to meet the guidelines, and requirements that are set by the online dating service. Some online dating services are more discerning than others. A few selected online dating services even require their members to be prescreened before joining. This is done for the safety of the participants. In return, subscribers are asked to make a monthly payment.
Subscribers are often asked to create a profile that relates basic information about themselves. Usually this includes: age, gender, nationality, and place of residence.
For subscribers this also offers them a chance to express themselves. They can get creative with their profiles. They can also include personal information like hobbies, interests, and specify the type of person they are looking for. Profile Benefits of Online Dating Services
In these past few years the trend in dating from all over the world has changed drastically. Individuals looking to meet people don’t choose to line up in queues anymore, to try to get into the hottest places. Seldom will they be seen hanging out in pubs and bars, trying to catch a glimpse of prospective hook-ups.
Nowadays, there’s a more modern, and organized approach to this mating ritual. Welcome to the world of online dating. There are a lot of advantages that go with this method.
Now singles can meet and greet each other without leaving the refuge of their homes. Sounds crazy, but now this is the most preferred way individuals, especially young people socialize.
One of the greatest things about online dating is that participants get to specify the exact type of person they are looking for. This can be done by joining a dating online service, or posting a personal.
An online dating service is basically a community of people who gather together to interact, socialize, and make friends with each other. There are a lot of online dating services on the internet.
Some online dating services require participants to subscribe to their websites. The great thing about online dating services that are run by subscription, is that their members are assessed before joining.
Aspiring members are asked to file an application, and are required to meet the guidelines, and requirements that are set by the online dating service. Some online dating services are more discerning than others. A few selected online dating services even require their members to be prescreened before joining. This is done for the safety of the participants. In return, subscribers are asked to make a monthly payment.
Subscribers are often asked to create a profile that relates basic information about themselves. Usually this includes: age, gender, nationality, and place of residence.
For subscribers this also offers them a chance to express themselves. They can get creative with their profiles. They can also include personal information like hobbies, interests, and specify the type of person they are looking for. Profile guidelines vary depending on the online dating service participants choose to partake in.
One of the main reasons people choose to participate in an online dating service, is that so many people are doing it! Technically speaking, this increases an individual’s chances of finding the right person that’s meant for him or her.
In 2004, it was estimated that people who lived in the US, spent more than $460 million on online dating services. This means, that a lot of people are seriously getting online and spending money, trying to find their potential soul mates.
Also, singles who are a part of an online dating service know that they are there for a reason, which is to meet people, socialize, make friends, and potentially find the love of their lives. So this takes out the guess work of a person’s intention out of the equation because everyone who is a part of an online dating community is looking for the same thing.
Also, the availability of an online dating service is irresistible. Individuals can avail of their services 24 hours a day! So participants can log on to their online dating service any hour of the day.
If they are bored, staying in bed because of a sore throat, or they just feel like staying at home on a weekend; they can always check if somebody is trying to contact them through their online dating service. They can browse through other people’s profiles and try to seek out the one that strikes their fancy!
There are a lot of online dating services that are absolutely free! This is beneficial to those individuals who are new to the world of online dating services. Those who just want to have some fun and try something new can try out these free services first, and see how it suits them. Later on, they can move on to the more exclusive, by subscription online dating services, once they’ve gotten the hang of online dating.
It is important to note that with online dating services, not everyone who participates, tells the absolute truth! So it vital for participants to practice caution at all times.
An online dating service doesn’t require participants to meet the people they interact with in person. This decision entirely belongs to the participants. So it important to always keep one’s wits about, and practice logic, when engaging in these online activities. This will also ensure the safety of online dating participants, and also allow them to have maximum fun!
Lawrence Andrews is an ePublisher, software developer, consultant, and author of numerous books. Visit his Private Label Content and Software site at [http://www.lmamedia.com] for more information about Dating Do’s and Dont’s.
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Saturday, October 29th, 2011
So, you think you’ve finally met a great guy on the Internet? Did you know that 21% of online daters misrepresent their true identities according to a new social study into the behaviours of online daters. Source: TodaysDating.com
The online dating industry has shrugged off its social stigma and has now become an integral part of the social climate for single people both young and old. Aside from the fact that all that’s required is an Internet connection to get started, social media and online dating apps have transformed the once somewhat shady industry into a super cool trend that allows singles to not only date from their home pc, but also while on the go via their mobile devices.
The problem the online dating space now finds itself in is not being compared to social desperation like previous times, no, rather trying to decide which people you meet are on the level, and which ones are simply trying to trick or deceive you for self gain.
The study also revealed that an average of 23% of males dating online were married men posing as someone single. Further to this, people looking to openly cheat online
is on the increase with more than 30% of the entire online dating crowd world-wide signing up to married/cheating specific online dating sites.
A report that recently surfaced through free dating sites Australia, the popular Oasis Active Aussie dating site, occurred in June 2011: A Nigerian woman posing as a local Melbourne woman romanced 3 different men at the same time via the sites instant messaging system, each guy unawares that he was being played for a fool. After convincing each man to pay $5000 each for her plan ticket and other costs, the 3 men all turned up simultaneously at the same airport each holding a bunch of flowers and left red faced standing at the boarding gate waiting for the girl of their dreams to exit the gate. Needless to say, she never arrived…!
Even though the Internet dating industry is experiencing some incredible growth right now, reports of increased fraudulent activity are exceeding the growth of the industry itself. Never ever send money to someone you’ve just met online, said relationships expert, Diane Bishop “Even though it might seem like common sense, even the smartest people do the craziest things when there is the potential to meet the person of their dreams, particularly online, online dating sites provide a sense of fantasy that rarely stacks up against the harshness of reality.”
Ms Bishop also said, “Even before you agree to meet your new online friend in person for the first time, regardless how amazing they appear, do a little homework on him or her first. Something as simple as checking out their Facebook or Myspace page so you can see how they interact with others, or what types of comments and updates people are posting about the person.”
In countries like Nigeria and Senegal, illegal Internet scam gangs make up a whopping 30% of their countries entire work force. We could go on and on about how to avoid being conned online, but at the end of the day, use what God gave you as your best line of defence – your brain! Or your common sense as we like to refer it by.
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Wednesday, September 7th, 2011
The secret of success is persistence. If we try to observe these small positive changes, they will become habits that will lead to a harmonious relationship. But what are the those changes, you ask? Below, we bring you several strategies that experts have determined should be completed to affect positive change in your relationship.
Mind-Reading – No Way
Just ask what you want to know. People can not read each others minds so therefore be open to talking instead.
Relaxation
Give yourself a little freedom to relax. Tell your partner what is bothering you. Sharing problems increases intimacy. And remember, you do not aim to solve the problem under the mandatory, but to get the best possible relationship with your partner.
Comments and Compliments
Give your partner a compliment. Say it loud and clear what you love about him or her. This will give them greater confidence. Such people have much more to offer in raising the relationship to a higher level.
Concern For Each Other
In long term relationships couples are less focused on each other. Why not at least focus on the little things, like a kiss for goodbye.
Exaggeration or Moderation
If you’re too well dressed, some men will give up thinking they have no chance. On the other hand, if you go to a night club in the home edition you will get many views but not those what you want. So the solution is moderation.
Laugh Together
Humor connects you and your partner and makes your relationship stronger and it’s very good medicine. Enjoy some funny videos together, or just cuddles!
Separate in Certain Times
If you are not in a good mood (maybe after a tough day at work) give yourself some space for a few moments to cool off. Your better half is not to be used as a verbal punchbag for releasing yourd frustrations.
Apologies
After an argument usually you wait for the hand of reconciliation, perhaps this could be changed and you can make the first move. You could surprise not only your partner, but yourself to.
Common Meals
Eat together at least once a day. In this way, you are acknowledging the value of what you have, and it is very important for the long term future and a solid relationship.
Getting Acquainted
Never think that you are fully familiar with your partner. This problem often arises in relationships because people think they know everything. But the fact is that you always have something else to discover, it is important to never forget.
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